Strawberry cupcakes, sand castles and good-byes

So guys, this is me, back from hibernation.

A dear friend said I should write more blog entries with sarcasm in them because that is a part of me which defines me but which hid a little in the past months under a load of other crap which also defined me my whole life until now(yes, you guessed it, Cristina is on the crazy train on the self-improvement railway, let’s see where that will lead me).
But before I do that, I will give sadness some space and deal with it in this post, because life is not just vacations and unicorns and happiness and everybody should also talk about this.

So yes, life was not peachy and somehow this recipe seems to be associated with this sad part of my life. They somehow got to be the cupcakes of loss which I ate in some of the worst days of my life until now. I lost much which was very dear to me this year and somehow I got these cupcakes to comfort me(but not exclusively, I also discovered that there are still kind and caring people in this world, hey there :-)). These are the cupcakes of loss, but also of joy and hope. Hardships are good opportunities to learn about yourself and improve and be stronger, smarter and better. The fact that I can write this with hope in my heart and joy in my life and gratefulness is incredible. It’s a miracle how resilient people are and no matter how hard it hits you, you will get back up again in some way or the other(I know this is stupid as it is evident and everybody says it, but it feels different when it happens to you). And until then, just bake these cupcakes(or anything else really which brings you joy) and eat them all by yourself or maybe with the good people I mentioned before, if they can eat sugar.

And listen to this song while doing so. Beyonce wrote it as a sad love song, but I guess it applies to all our missed opportunities and broken dreams.

Goodbye dear friend, I am sorry that all the nice but highly unlikely dreams we exchanged were just sand castles. I am pretty sure you never listened to Queen B like I told you to, so it is even stranger that now you will always be in my heart together with Queen Bs Lemonade album. I know this is not the musical company you would want to have.
And good-bye to all Emilys and Emmas, those sand castles were the best ones.

P.S. No, this does not mean I am a new optimistic and rainbowy Cristina, it just means it’s ok to have bad days and good ones and be pessimistic and optimistic and what not, life goes on.

Ingredients

• 120 g  plain flour
• 140 g caster sugar
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• A pinch of salt
• 40 g unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 120 ml whole milk
• vanilla extract
• 1 egg
• 12 large strawberries, chopped into small pieces
• 200 g digestive biscuits
• 12-hole cupcake tray, lined with paper cases

FOR THE FROSTING:

• 100 g icing sugar, sifted
• 20 g unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 125 g cream cheese, cold

Method

• Preheat the oven to 170°C. 
• Put the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and 40g of the unsalted butter in a free-standing electric mixer with a paddle attachment (or use a handheld electric whisk) and beat on slow speed until you get a sandy consistency and everything is combined.
• Pour in the milk and vanilla extract and beat on medium speed until all the ingredients are well mixed (scrape any unmixed ingredients from the side of the bowl with a rubber spatula). Add the egg and beat well for a few minutes to ensure the ingredients are well incorporated.
• Divide the chopped strawberries between 12 paper cupcake cases. Spoon the cupcake mixture on top until two-thirds full and bake in the preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until light golden and the sponge bounces back when touched. A skewer inserted in the centre should come out clean. Leave the cupcakes to cool slightly in the tray before turning out onto a wire cooling rack to cool completely.
• Meanwhile, make the frosting by beating the icing sugar the remaining 20g of the unsalted butter together in a freestanding electric mixer with a paddle attachment (or use a handheld electric whisk) on medium-slow speed until the mixture comes together and is well mixed. Add the cream cheese in one go and beat it until it is completely incorporated. Turn the mixer up to medium-high speed. Continue beating until the frosting is light and fluffy, at least five minutes. Do not overbeat, as it can quickly become runny.
• Put the digestives in a bowl and bash with a spoon to form fine crumbs - alternatively blitz them in a blender. Divide the frosting between the cupcakes, smoothing it nicely with a knife, before sprinkling a pinch of biscuit crumbs over each one.